I keep forgetting how great yoga makes me feel. I'm going to have to start using it as a motivator to get out of bed and do something during the day. My routines now consist of working, sleeping in, getting up with the dogs, watching tv in bed (the bedroom is the only warm room in our house), making something to eat, cuddling with Byran before work, get ready for work, go to work. My days off are the exact same, except no sleeping in. It's kind of pitiful. I don't even have a desire to eat these days, which is very unlike me.
Today was different. I decided that I was going to clean up the house a bit and ended up dragging out the yoga mat. I did the beginner/intermediate work-out and felt amazing afterward. I had so much energy! I don't know why today was different, I usually try to get at least one yoga session in per week. I have really been in a funk lately though, so maybe it was enough to pull me out for a while. I need to start doing some serious work on my core. My back pain is to the point where it is chronic, and I fear that if I don't do something about it soon it will only get worse. Yoga is the perfect solution, so I'm going to do 3 sessions a week and work up to doing it every day (hopefully).
I have also been trying to think of ideas for me Etsy shop. I have nothing in it right now. I was thinking about selling hand-designed baby clothes, but I'll need to do some serious planning if that is what I end up doing. I have also researched how to make homemade soap. I bought some of the supplies online, but the process is a little scary! You have to use lye, which is toxic and corrosive. You have to heat and mix everything together, using thermometers and gloves, then pour everything in to a mold and let it sit for 3 weeks! I never knew it would be so freaking difficult! It seems like one of those procedures that you get the hang of and can just do it without even thinking after your first few times. We'll see how that goes. Bryan doesn't have much faith, but I think as long as I'm gloved and the animals are out of harms way things will be fine.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
False alarm...
Well, the infamous false positive blue dye pregnancy tests have claimed another victim. I tested 3 more times the same day as I got the positive, but all of them turned out negative. Tested again yesterday morning and got the same result. Then I spent the better part of my Valentine's Day afternoon in bed, crying and feeling sorry for myself. The events of today confirm the negative. that's what I get for being optimistic for once.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Monumental Day
My fiance and I want a family more than anything. We both knew that it was the time in our relationship where we could start considering starting a family. When I was in grade school, I remember having a conversation with a classmate about our future plans for a family. My mother had given birth to all three of her children before the age of 25, so naturally I thought that was what everyone did. I told my classmate that I wanted the same thing for myself, and she responded by telling me that I a going to be a slutt when I grow up. Regardless, I always knew that I wanted to have kids at a young age. I have had ongoing baby fever since I was 18 years old, and it's not letting up any time soon.
I had begun Depo Provera shots in December of 2009, took my second (and last) shot in March of 2010 and have been suffering from the effects over since (I won't go in to detail, it's way too much information). I had no idea how badly that shot could mess up your entire system. After the 6 months of treatment, I stopped getting the shot and hoped that the prolonged effects of it wouldn't last as long as the internet articles said they would.
A year after my last shot, my cycles finally regulated and I ovulated for the first time in months. I knew this because I had been tracking my Basal Body temperatures on fertilityfriend.com (we were serious about this whole family making thing...). Despite the ovulation signs and careful planning, I was skeptical to say the least. My body has been through hell and back. The chances of me conceiving without medical intervention seemed slim at best. Today I learned to never doubt what your own body can handle.
Despite my own doubts, I had been tracking my "days post ovulation" and have been taking pregnancy tests as early as I could. The first 2 came up negative (9 and 10 days post ovulation), so I didn't bother testing on the third day (11dpo). Today I woke up at 11:00am after a 12 hour night shift. I had taken my BBT at 8:00am (after only 1.5 hours of sleep, but at least 4 is recommended for accurate temps) and it looked like it was starting to take a nose dive, which means no pregnancy. I took my temp again at 11:00am to see if it would be different after I had slept for the recommended time. It was sky high, which is a good sign for pregnancy. I charted my 8:00am temp anyway, then went to the bathroom. I had told myself I wasn't testing again until Valentine's Day. Then I found myself tearing open a ClearBlue Easy test and off I went. I stood in the bathroom staring at the test and after about 30 seconds, I could see a faint blue test line appear. I was in disbelief. I stood there for a few more minutes and tried to figure out if it was just my mind playing tricks on me. My baby-crazy mind trying to convince me that I see a blue line. After about 30 minutes the line was unmistakable. I took pictures of it, put it on the computer and started at it on my screen. Yep, definite blue line. I took it up to Bryan to get his opinion. "Well it isn't that dark... I don't think it's positive..." I explained to him that the fact that there is ANYTHING there is cause for cautious celebration. I say cautious because blue dye preg tests are infamous for giving false positives. I was excited, and I think he was too in his own reserved way. It is way too early to be excited about anything that huge, so we are keeping out emotions in check.
I took another picture of the darker line and decided to take a pink dye tomorrow to confirm. Here is a picture of the final test reading:
A definite think blue line, but we will see how accurate it is tomorrow. SO EXCITED!
I had begun Depo Provera shots in December of 2009, took my second (and last) shot in March of 2010 and have been suffering from the effects over since (I won't go in to detail, it's way too much information). I had no idea how badly that shot could mess up your entire system. After the 6 months of treatment, I stopped getting the shot and hoped that the prolonged effects of it wouldn't last as long as the internet articles said they would.
A year after my last shot, my cycles finally regulated and I ovulated for the first time in months. I knew this because I had been tracking my Basal Body temperatures on fertilityfriend.com (we were serious about this whole family making thing...). Despite the ovulation signs and careful planning, I was skeptical to say the least. My body has been through hell and back. The chances of me conceiving without medical intervention seemed slim at best. Today I learned to never doubt what your own body can handle.
Despite my own doubts, I had been tracking my "days post ovulation" and have been taking pregnancy tests as early as I could. The first 2 came up negative (9 and 10 days post ovulation), so I didn't bother testing on the third day (11dpo). Today I woke up at 11:00am after a 12 hour night shift. I had taken my BBT at 8:00am (after only 1.5 hours of sleep, but at least 4 is recommended for accurate temps) and it looked like it was starting to take a nose dive, which means no pregnancy. I took my temp again at 11:00am to see if it would be different after I had slept for the recommended time. It was sky high, which is a good sign for pregnancy. I charted my 8:00am temp anyway, then went to the bathroom. I had told myself I wasn't testing again until Valentine's Day. Then I found myself tearing open a ClearBlue Easy test and off I went. I stood in the bathroom staring at the test and after about 30 seconds, I could see a faint blue test line appear. I was in disbelief. I stood there for a few more minutes and tried to figure out if it was just my mind playing tricks on me. My baby-crazy mind trying to convince me that I see a blue line. After about 30 minutes the line was unmistakable. I took pictures of it, put it on the computer and started at it on my screen. Yep, definite blue line. I took it up to Bryan to get his opinion. "Well it isn't that dark... I don't think it's positive..." I explained to him that the fact that there is ANYTHING there is cause for cautious celebration. I say cautious because blue dye preg tests are infamous for giving false positives. I was excited, and I think he was too in his own reserved way. It is way too early to be excited about anything that huge, so we are keeping out emotions in check.
I took another picture of the darker line and decided to take a pink dye tomorrow to confirm. Here is a picture of the final test reading:
A definite think blue line, but we will see how accurate it is tomorrow. SO EXCITED!
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Ideas
There have been a couple of changes lately. My crocheting/knitting has been tossed aside and replaced with the idea of studying for midterms. I say "idea" because I really haven't been doing much studying either. I have been completely engulfed in the world of pregnancy. Bryan and I decided that we were going to stop not trying for a baby a few months ago. My cycles were all messed up because of the Depo shot (which I will never even consider using again) but I think I am finally on a regular schedule now.
We haven't been actively trying until the past two months. I have been charting my basal body temp to help with the timing of everything... but neither of us have told anyone (as far as I know...). I'm not sure why. We aren't married quite yet and if thirteen years of Catholic school taught me anything, it's that there is nothing worse than having a child out of wedlock. I am not Catholic, nor do I actively practice any form of religion, but for some reason it still has a slight impact on my thought process. I want kids, I don't care if we have them now or after we're married, but I guess I don't want either side of the family to think it's the wrong decision. I also don't want any pressure, which is definitely a factor in why I haven't told anyone. At this point, with my health history being what it is, if I get pregnant then great. If not, it isn't unexpected. I don't need the added pressure of everyone expecting something that may not be achievable. Time will tell I guess. I have been following Lucy Eades' youtube Vlogs which hasn't helped with the fact that I can't concentrate on anything that isn't baby related. Oh well, if it is meant to be then it will happen, right?
We haven't been actively trying until the past two months. I have been charting my basal body temp to help with the timing of everything... but neither of us have told anyone (as far as I know...). I'm not sure why. We aren't married quite yet and if thirteen years of Catholic school taught me anything, it's that there is nothing worse than having a child out of wedlock. I am not Catholic, nor do I actively practice any form of religion, but for some reason it still has a slight impact on my thought process. I want kids, I don't care if we have them now or after we're married, but I guess I don't want either side of the family to think it's the wrong decision. I also don't want any pressure, which is definitely a factor in why I haven't told anyone. At this point, with my health history being what it is, if I get pregnant then great. If not, it isn't unexpected. I don't need the added pressure of everyone expecting something that may not be achievable. Time will tell I guess. I have been following Lucy Eades' youtube Vlogs which hasn't helped with the fact that I can't concentrate on anything that isn't baby related. Oh well, if it is meant to be then it will happen, right?
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