Deep in Thought

I put blogging on hold for a short while, just not much to write about I guess.

I'm putting more thought in to making New Brunswick a permanent idea (well, for as long as Bryan is with his team). The whole time we have lived here I have sat back and tried to coast through month by month waiting until we decide to move back to Alberta, but I am starting to realize how awful of an idea that is. Roger told me how he hates it when people wait to start their lives without realizing that they have already begun. I have a habit of doing exactly that, and I think it stresses me out. My parents being so far away stresses me out too. Mom laid a guilt trip about never being able to see her grandkids when Bryan and I start a family, which convinced me that we would spend 2 years max in NB, then move closer. Being in school it just made sense to put my stuff on hold, focus on my program and figure things out later. Really though, what's wrong with raising a family here? We could travel during holidays to see my parents and use Skype, hopefully I would find a job that didn't make me want to jump off of a bridge. It shouldn't matter where we start our family, as long as we have stability... right?

December

Well December is moving along at a frightening pace. I've decided the earlier you begin your Christmas shopping, the more money you spend in the end. I started shopping in mid-November and I'm still not finished! I also sent some gifts late in the mail and they won't be delivered until the 29th. Oh well, what can you do. I definitely wasn't paying the $50 to have them shipped priority.

Here are some pictures of my knitting so far:

I was working on a cable knit scarf but it's boring me. I really just wanted to get the cable stitch figured out and move on, so I found a neat knitted Santa hat pattern I might try if I can get to Walmart tomorrow to buy the supplies.

I've been doing yoga as much as I can, following Jillian Michael's yoga video. Yikes. The beginner routine kicks my ass, I don't know if I'll ever make it to the intermediate level. Very sore, but feel pretty good. Hopefully I can do some over the next couple of weeks. We're heading out of town for christmas and I'm kind of excited for the time off together. My birthday is also on the 23rd, so it should be a good week!

Progress

Lots of progress has been made lately. I finished my semester 3 weeks early and have noticed a serious change in my personality. I wake up in a good mood. As normal as that sounds, it is rare. I feel like a different person. The change is startling to be honest. Stress over school, money and classes can completely change me, and it shouldn't be like that. Hopefully now that I recognize the change in myself, I can make an effort to be more in control.

I started doing yoga again. The dogs love it, they think it's a new kind of game. Brody lays on his back and stares up from underneath me while I try to switch positions without crushing him. Rex just licks my face every time he can get within reach. Normally this would frustrate me, but it was a riot. I couldn't help but laugh at them.

Knitting has progressed... somewhat. I'm almost done my first complete project and I'm ready to start about 20 other ones! I went from being excited about the pattern to disappointed about the initial product, but as I near the completion of the scarf I am getting kind of excited to show it off. 

Christmas shopping has been "almost finished" for about 2 weeks now. I think once the online stuff gets delivered, we're just going to buy a pile of gift cards and give them to everyone we haven't bought for. My credit card has taken a beating. I keep telling myself I have saved a lot by buying personal low cost gifts and taking advantage of internet sales, but a part of me wants to throw up when I look at my bank statement. Oh well, what are the holidays for??

k1 p1

I dove head first into the wonderful world of knitting. I am working on a scarf right now. Didn't realize how much there was to know! Youtube is a huge help because I don't find the pictures very easy to follow. So far so good, I'm taking it one day at a time and trying to embrace the concept of improving my skills rather than just quitting because something because I'm not good at it from the beginning (which I do often).

The town had a "Black Friday" all day yesterday. I went out before work but ended up just buying things I could have bought any other day. I don't need a new TV or a 20-piece set of stainless steel pots and pans, so whatever was left at 4:00pm wasn't really appealing for me. Oh well, less money spent. I did find cute hats for the dogs for under $3 a piece. Bonus!

Lonely

Had a good phone conversation with my mom today. One of those talks that last 2 hours but only seem like 20 minutes. Made me want to be home badly. Everyone is going through a lot over there and I'm on the other side of the country and can't do anything about it, which makes it hard and kind of lonely. Working opposite hours to your fiance doesn't help either. Not feeling great.

Beautiful Day

The dogs and I took advantage of an incredible day. Brody had a doggy play date with 6 other people with their 5 dogs. He loved it, and so did I! He was approaching the others with excitement and really enjoyed the company of the other dogs on our little hike (especially the female sheltie in heat). When I got home I fed the pups and took Rex out too. That walk was less fun.. I think I get too stressed out with Brody's pulling and Rex's refusal to acknowledge my existence the entire time. I think I'm going to have to walk them separately from now on, but the exercise was good for all of us... especially me :)

Hobbies

I need a hobby. I really don't have anything that I do for me (other than eat candy in copious amounts and watch Grey's Anatomy every week). I have been thinking about doing something like knitting or crocheting. Something that can start out east and get more advanced with experience, leaves room for individual creativity, and has a final product. I like to draw, but I find myself becoming frustrated when a sketch doesn't turn out the way I wanted it to. I don't play video games because they stress me out way too much, I haven't been able to read a full book from start to finish in a LONG time, and I have developed a distaste for exercise in any form. I have a yoga video that I bought 2 years ago and haven't even bothered to open it yet. The funny thing is that I really love doing it, yet still can't find an iota of desire to pop that DVD in and let the endorphins fly. I can't achieve the stress-free relaxed state I want with two whining dogs on the other side of the door.

It's actually a little frustrating....

I do bake occasionally. I guess that would be considered a hobby. The downfall of that is when you have 3 dozen cookies and a counter top full of freshly baked banana muffins, it all has to be eaten...

Stay-cations

Went to PR today for a visit. I am really starting to appreciate these little "stay-cations," even more than I previously did. It gives me a nice break from school, work and most importantly, from being stuck in the house. Most of my days off are spent inside doing housework or studying and when I work nights, I spend some of the day sleeping and the rest making supper and getting ready for work. A lot of being stuck at home is due to only one vehicle to share, plus the fact that we live 10 minutes outside of town. I could take the dogs for walks, but taking them along the same road every time has grown old quickly. They get a lot more out of chasing each other and darting around the yard anyway. I need a hobby, but I have yet to find anything that really interests me enough to stick with on a long term basis. I would love to learn how to knit or crochet, but haven't put much effort towards it yet. I do need to work on Brody's training a lot more too. Maybe that will be tomorrows task... and poop pick-up (my favorite... ugh).

November 3rd

Tonight is my third night shift. Only one more to go until days off.

Yesterday morning Brody and Rex let me sleep in until 1:00pm, which was a first. Usually I'm in bed by 6:30am and up by 11:00am to clean up whatever mess Brody has made that morning. Not this time though... they cuddled in bed with me while I recharged after my twelve hour night shift. It was a nice surprise.

Tomorrow we are planning a trip to Plaster Rock to visit Bryan's parents, which is exciting. I will be slightly exhausted from working the night before, but hopefully I can squeeze in a nap on the way there.

I'm still having a hard time getting over my recent loss of the 5,000 pictures on my computer when the hard drive crashed. It kind of makes me feel sick actually. I like to consider my picture taking as one of few hobbies that I have, so losing 6 years worth of pictures hurts a little. There's not much I can do now, except maybe take up drawing again... which isn't a bad idea.

Rex

 

Brody